I’m going to be a little bold here and say that we shouldn’t keep our skinny clothes or fat clothes in our closets. You know what I’m talking about and if you’re like me and many of my clients, you’ve had them lurking at the back of your closet, stuffed away for a while. And these clothes in a subtle way, keep us from feeling comfortable in our skin.
It’s those clothes that are either just a little big, giving you a cushion for when your weight fluctuates. The “bloated” jeans, that are extra comfy but are kinda sloppy. The tiny sexy dress you’ve saved for when you FINALLY fit that size again, as you eat another cookie. Those jeans you squeeze into, even though the button pressing against your tummy kinda hurts because you still want to be a size 2.
I kept mine for far too long, and realized that it was doing me a disservice.
We think keeping the fat or skinny clothes will serve us.
When I decided to keep them, this is what I thought it would do for me:
- Give me options for when I DO lose the weight.
- Keep me motivated to someday fit the clothes again.
- Keep the fat clothes as a backup plan.
- Have a backup plan for if I don’t lose the weight or gain more weight.
- Help me in transitions if my weight fluctuates a little.
- Keep me from spending money on new clothes when I already have a closet full.
But what are the fat and skinny clothes actually telling us?
These all seem like reasonable good things, but here is what is actually going on in the background when we do this to ourselves.
- We are subconsciously telling ourselves that there is something wrong with our body.
- We give ourselves subtle body shame.
- We keep ourselves from what is possible (looking and feeling good NOW)
- It is a visual reminder of our failure to reach our weight goals.
- It is failing ahead of time.
- It is putting off investing in yourself.
- It is shoving body into clothes that don’t fit and feeling awful.
- It is punishing yourself every time you “cheat” from your goals.
Recognize How You are Speaking to Yourself
When we start our day telling ourselves how fat and miserable we are, that is not in service. We were created in God’s image to be beautifully and wonderfully made. Stepping into this identity, the identity that you are exactly where you need to be right now, that you can feel and look good now is the first step to freedom in your confidence and image.
When you recognize this about yourself, you can throw out your old self (the old clothes) and become who you want now. The woman who is secure and comfortable in your skin.
I started doing this process for myself last year. After gaining some weight, I bought a few pieces that fit my new shape, and decided I was going to be okay and confident with how I look now, and not worry so much about the size.
And it is so fascinating what happened. I began to really believe I looked good. And from that place I was motivated to start eating better. I began working out regularly. My body started changing, and it didn’t have anything to do with forcing myself into my clothes.
Being comfortable in your skin is the beginning of being comfortable in your clothes.
How do I dress for a changing body or a body in transition?
If you know you have some body goals, are actively working toward them, or are going through any body changes, then here are some ideas to help you through that transition.
- Showing up as your best self now will make the transition smoother because you will love yourself in every stage.
- If you have budget constraints, be strategic about what items can get you by. Having a great pair of jeans or pants, and some structured tops can be a great start.
- Give yourself goals as you change to reward yourself for items that will fit, but only buy them when you reach that goal.
- If your goal takes more time than you think, don’t make that mean anything about you as a person.
- Think about who you are as a person, what unique features and capabilities were you given?
Challenge yourself today to question the stories you tell yourself on why you are keeping the clothes.
Freedom is often found in the letting go. The releasing attachment to the things we think are serving us. I wrote more about declutter and the freedom that can bring here if you would like to learn more.
Find joy today in where you are. Celebrate who you are. And wear and love what reflects that today.