I talk to a lot of clients who want to be more confident in their life. This is a wonderful thing, and I know I can help them take steps toward finding that for themselves. The trouble is when someone expects to become confident overnight. Like, it’s just going to magically happen for them. In all actuality, the first step toward true confidence is one you will probably have to take over and over and over again.
You see, at the core, confidence is a belief in yourself. A certainty that you can do something. A certainty that you can be who you want to be.
So the real question is, how do you learn to believe in yourself more?
When I’ve come across areas of my life where I’m not confident, there are a few steps that I take to help reframe my mind and up my belief.
1. Write down all the thoughts that come up
First, I do a thought download where I write down all the doubts and thoughts that come up against me in my own brain. What specifically am I thinking about that is holding me back? Thoughts like “I don’t have enough experience,” or “I haven’t done that before,” or “They will think I don’t know what I’m talking about.” You fill in the blank for your own thoughts.
2. Reframe those thoughts
This is simple, but it is also tedious and will make you feel vulnerable. But keep going. This is one of the most important steps toward true confidence in your life. Don’t get stuck in the doubts and confusing thoughts that you know come up. Decide an intentional thought for yourself that you would like to think instead. Going with the example above, “I don’t have enough experience” could then become “I gain more experience every time I try!” See how that little thought switcheroo can change your attitude on how you feel? It’s subtle. But if you address each thought, you will be on your way to being more confident. And now you have a list to refer back to when those doubts come up and you have already articulated your new thought!
You knew this one was coming, and there’s no way getting around it! 🙂 You simply have to do it. As you take those 10 seconds of courage to decide to do the thing, you are exercising your confidence muscles. The feelings of doubt may not go away right away, but if you are willing to feel any emotion that comes up, you can do anything! SO stop right there, did you do the first exercise? That is your first action step. It is easy to be someone who consumes a lot of advice and content but if it isn’t put to use, it is not going to fully serve you and transform you.
Let me know if you tried my first steps toward true confidence! What did you discover about yourself?
Consistency in your actions (even the mental preparation) is what is going to set you ahead and to true confidence. I work one on one with my clients to uncover and challenge individual doubts, fears, and beliefs. We explore and find out what is behind that and what you need to do to move forward. If you want to learn what it’s like to work with me, schedule a call by clicking here!