I often talk about how coaching can help you get unstuck, and it can and does because it brings awareness to the problem. But in truth it is you that gets you unstuck. Being stuck is optional, being stuck is a choice.
When you are feeling stuck, what is the thought behind it? That’s your queue to really think about it. What are you stuck on. Why? Seriously, writing it down will get it outside your brain.
For me, it usually boils down to some kind of fear of the unknown or fear of being inadequate. I don’t want to move forward because I’m feeling scared of something.
And choosing to be stuck in fear causes me to spin out in drama. Haha.
For a while I was scared about writing too much, or saying too much. My thought was “People might be annoyed if I post too much.”
This stopped me for a full 2 hours of work while I had a pity party in my mind about how I shouldn’t put stuff out there because I was feeling scared and embarrassed that someone might not like it. How silly is that?
Redirect your thoughts
What if I had re-directed my thoughts to the one person that might need to read this today? How is my holding back serving that person? Yeah, it’s not.
So I decided to get coached on this, because it was seriously causing issues for my productivity. And you know what I learned? It’s ok if there are people who are annoyed. If they are annoyed they are not my people. And it doesn’t matter. I’m not writing this for them, and they don’t need to read it! The right people will see it. If I never post, no one will see it.
That is people pleasing. Not posting because someone might not like it is delegating my responsibility to others. Delegating your emotional well-being to others means you aren’t showing up as your full self.
When I became aware that I was living in this weird people-pleasing-fear-mode, I realized I didn’t have to choose to stay stuck there. Being stuck is a choice, and it is my choice. I refocused my thoughts on what mattered to me, and got out of stuck mode.
Recognize that staying stuck is a decision
Stuck will probably come up for me again, but recognizing that it is a decision, that being stuck is a choice, empowers me to choose to figure it out, and to be emotionally strong for my own choices.
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